The Importance of Paying Attention to your Relationship Priorities
The Importance of Paying Attention to your Relationship Priorities Think of your relationship as an empty vase. Now, let’s fill that vase with rocks, pebbles, and sand. I put together a demonstration so you can see exactly what this looks like. We’re first going to fill with rocks. The rocks are the foundation of a […]
5 Ways Individual Therapy Can Help Your Relationship
5 Ways Individual Therapy Can Help Your Relationship It is a scary thing when your relationship is in a bad place, but your partner isn’t willing to do something new to try to improve your situation. You may have read some things online or asked friends for advice on how to make changes to better […]
What We Get WRONG When It Comes to Love Languages
What We Get WRONG When It Comes to Love Languages It’s BS-Free Friday. Let’s talk about the 5 love languages. We want to understand our own and our partner’s. They are: Words of Affirmation: When your partner gives compliments, verbal appreciation and encouragement, or hearing “I love you” or other statements often. Quality Time: When […]
The Risks of Staying in a Toxic Relationship for the Kids
The Risks of Staying in a Toxic Relationship for the Kids In my work as a Marriage and Family Therapist, I always inquire at the beginning of working with a couple what their goals are in therapy. Couples usually say things along the lines of improving their communication, increasing their level of intimacy, and repairing […]
Trauma’s Impact on the Brain
Trauma’s Impact on the Brain There is a big push in the mental health community to research and understand the impact of trauma on mental and physical health. Thanks to books like The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, What Happened to You? by Bruce Perry, and What My Bones […]
The Dangers of Financial Abuse
The Dangers of Financial Abuse Financial abuse is one of the most common, yet forgotten, forms of abuse. It is particularly insidious because it leaves you dependent and vulnerable. Without agency over your finances, you are trapped in an abusive relationship and your ability to stay safe after leaving your abusive partner is essentially gone. […]
The Truth Behind Triggers
The Truth Behind Triggers It seems that society likes to pick a psychology word or phrase and then overuse and mishandle it. When people misuse terms, we lose what they actually mean. Sometimes this is in the form of actual diagnoses, like… That’s so OCD. They are acting totally bipolar. Don’t be so paranoid. Sometimes […]
Attachment Theory in Relationships
Attachment Theory in Relationships Have you ever jumped from relationship to relationship every few months, wondering why you can’t find the perfect partner? Or maybe you’ve been left wondering why the partners you choose are always emotionally unavailable. What if you knew that your relationship choices and the way you attach to others has been […]
Please Don’t Excuse the Tears
During two different therapy sessions this week, I cried.Not big, sobbing cries. But noticeable tears, nonetheless. Of course, I had a million things racing through my mind as my eyes started to go glassy. I was experiencing countertransference and something that I don’t think is explained enough to people outside the walls of clinical supervision. […]
The Hidden Horrors of Psychological Abuse
One of the most subtle forms of abuse in a relationship is emotional abuse. Physical abuse is something that can be easily recognized (although, not always); however, emotional abuse is often an unseen terror. The signs can be hard for people on the outside to recognize AND oftentimes for the victim themselves to see […]