Infidelity is a devastating and destructive problem for a couple to experience. Your emotions can vacillate from sadness, anger, hope, rage, confusion and even revenge. The partner who has been ‘cheated on’ feels utter betrayal and agony. You feel hopeless that your relationship will be able to endure this trauma. The ‘cheating’ partner is also overwhelmed with a flood of emotions such as regret, guilt, fear and no idea what to do next. While you realize what you have done is wrong you might be confused as to how you allowed this to happen and, at the same time, feel somewhat justified in your behavior because of the disrepair in your primary relationship. It is important to remember that an affair exists on a vast spectrum from an emotional affair all the way up to a sexual affair. The emotional affair is when you develop an inappropriately close emotional attachment with someone other than your spouse. It is usually just a matter of time before an emotional affair turns into a sexual affair, so it is appropriate to address the underlying issues at any stage of the affair.
Affair recovery is a process that will help couples to understand that they can survive, and even thrive, the wreckage an affair can cause. We will work together in discovery and solutions. You will learn why a partner generally cheats. Affairs rarely happen when there is a strong connection in the relationship. It is vital to look at possible weaknesses, disconnections, stressors and pressures that are impacting the relationship. Your therapist will help you not only identify current dysfunctional coping mechanisms but also assist in creating healthier ways of dealing with disconnection and problems in the future. We will work to process the anger of the partner who has been ‘cheated on’ and give you the language to articulate to your partner your feelings in a way that makes sense and feels safe. An affair is not an individual problem so we will explore each partners responsibility for the affair. You will ultimately define what is broken and work towards repairing it with commitment, communication and honesty.
Research shows that around 50% of all marriages will experience infidelity on some level over the course of their relationship and as many as 70% of those couples stay together after discovery of the affair. In our practice at least half of the couples we work with are recovering from infidelity and we are successful when both partners work through the process with accountability, honesty, humility and hard work.
Affair recovery requires fortitude and vulnerability. We will work together to look at your relationship, and it’s struggles, through a transparent lens. We will offer you the roadmap you need to repair the damage that has been created. Your relationship can have a rebirth and get to a better place than it has ever been before.
“Deep human connection is the purpose and the result of a meaningful life – and it will inspire the most amazing acts of love, generosity, and humanity.” -Melinda Gates