Admitting there is a problem in your relationship is the first step and often times an easy one. Knowing how to navigate and work on the problem is another story all together. Relationships go through ups and downs and adding children to the equation only makes juggling the relationship more difficult. The stress of our jobs, financial issues, children, and the pressures of life can overwhelm us to the point where we are not taking care of ourselves and especially not our relationships. Talking about the problems may work, but what if talking to one another is not enough? What do we do from there? If we ignore the problems will they go away or dissipate over time? The answer is no and therapy can definitely help you navigate through the rollercoaster ride of your relationship. The question still remains, why sex therapy?
Sex therapists are trained in the same way as any other therapists; however, we have advanced training in relationship issues, sexual dysfunctions, sexual addictions, intimacy issues, and the physiological aspects of sexuality. Sex therapists understand that every relationship has a different set of issues and that there is no one way to treat a couple. Sex therapists tailor the treatment to the unique couple and works with their specific needs. Most importantly, sex therapists are open and comfortable talking about sex and helps couples become more comfortable talking about their wants and needs.
One important thing to remember is you are not alone. Every couple experiences some type of sexual issue in their relationship. Common struggles include a lack of understanding on what the other one wants and needs, desired frequency does not match for both individuals, or physiological changes that come with growing older and menopause. You are not the only one lacking crazy passionate sex all of the time. Sex takes work from both individuals and creating open communication can lead to greatly increasing your sexual satisfaction.
So what does sex therapy look like?
- It is just talk therapy! There will probably be homework, but that will be fun. As sex therapists, we understand that talking about sex can be uncomfortable and cause anxiety. Our comfort with the subject will help ease your fears while you learn how to be more open with your partner.
- We begin with an initial session and discuss what brought you to therapy. This time is used to establish rapport and build trust and comfort. If for any reason you don’t feel it is a good fit, we offer referrals to other therapists who specializes in the same area. This is not common, but it is very important to feel comfortable when speaking with someone about your most intimate thoughts and feelings.
- The second and third session are spent with each individual alone to discuss personal sexual history, childhood, your parents’ marriage and the household you were brought up in. These sessions can include anything else that may be difficult to discuss in front of your partner. This builds a roadmap to understand each individual and assist in the best path to solutions for you as a couple.
- The fourth session we come back together and the real work can start. Again, it is just talk therapy and the goal is to bring you closer and strengthen your relationship. At this point, we help you learn about what changes can be made to strengthen your connection. The amount of sessions needed is based on each couples’ needs and when you feel you have reached a desired connection.