Did you wake up one day unable to catch your breath and realize that you can’t be in your marriage anymore? Or maybe, your spouse decided that it was over, and you never had a voice in this life-changing decision. Or like many relationships, your marriage slowly fell apart over the years until you realized that you were living with a stranger. It doesn’t matter how a marriage ends; it still feels like the life that you knew and the future dreams surrounding it have been shattered and now you are facing divorce.
How are you supposed to face divorce when you feel like an absolute mess? Your head is swirling with questions, “How are we going to do this?” “How will we tell the kids?” “Will the kids be ok?” “Can we afford a divorce?” “Will the house have to be sold?” “How are we going to tell family and friends?” “Do I need to find a new job?” “What is the first step?” “Do I need an attorney?”
The list of questions goes on and on. You feel overwhelmed, not to mention the heartbreak you are experiencing. Your energy level is probably at zero and you are having a hard time getting the day to day tasks done. Every step you take may feel like you are just putting one foot in front of the other with no thought of where you are going.
If you can relate to any of this, then it is time to realize that you need a support system in place and that trying to do this alone could be detrimental to you (and your children’s) future.
FIRST STEP: PUMP THE BREAKS
A divorce is a monumental life change, just as getting married, having a baby, or changing careers. Yet those changes require planning, deep thought, clarity, and focus. Those changes, while scary, are also met with a sense of excitement. When most people go through a divorce, they want it over as quickly as possible. The raw emotion of it all is too much and that clouds the idea that divorce should be a process that you go through with clarity and focus. Each step in the divorce process is interconnected and each step has ramifications for your future. This is not the time to hurry the process just because you want it over. Divorce also brings a sense of loss and you need time to mourn the loss of the life that you once knew and the future that you once envisioned, but once you allow yourself to mourn, you then allow yourself the opportunity to reimagine your life and you realize that you have the power to create a beautiful future!
NEXT UP: ACKNOWLEDGE IT’S TIME FOR SOME BACK-UP
Having a divorce coach gives you a solid partner that will provide unwavering support, help keep you focused, organized and calm so that you can embrace each decision with a clear and rational mind. Together we will navigate every step of the divorce process; from the legal process, to finances, to self-care, to your children, and I will ensure that you have a clear vision of where you are and where you want to be. I promise that you WILL get through this and you will also learn a lot through the journey of self-discovery.
Not to mention, as your divorce coach, I can save you moolah! (Finally, some good news in all this mess, right?) A divorce brings a lot of financial uncertainty and a divorce coach can help save money by helping you with managing emotions, paperwork and other issues that your attorney may not want to handle or may not have the time. Let your attorney focus on the legal aspects and let me focus on YOU!
Take a deep breath……smell the sweetness of a new life awaiting you (and if you can’t envision that right now, then smell the sweetness of flowers, cookies, coffee, wine or whatever works for you at this moment)…… hold for four……and let go of the stress you feel right now, breathe out for four, huff it out, I mean, really LET IT GO! Repeat if necessary.
AND HERE IS WHAT A DIVORCE COACH CAN DO FOR YOU!
- Organize your thoughts and ideas into a plan of action.
- Research and discuss legal options available.
- Bring clarity to the decision-making process.
- Review finances so you have a clear understanding.
- Be a resource and help you develop a support system.
- Help you overcome your anger and paralyzing fear.
- Build emotional strength so that you can manage everyday life.
- Redefine what being the best parent now looks like.
- Help you rediscover who you are and find your best self.
- Offer encouragement and motivation every step of the way.
Congrats you just made it through another moment that a moment ago, you didn’t think you could.