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Conflict in a relationship is completely natural...
Relationships can be difficult to maintain. You get tired having the same arguments over and over without resolution. Or the arguments change but you end up with the same pattern; you work it out, but then days or weeks later you’re back in the same rut. Or you don’t argue but are merely co-existing. Work. Eat. Parent. Rinse and repeat.
And you haven’t had sex in months.
Normal life stressors can cause chaos and bring out deep rooted patterns that negatively impact each other. You may have settled into a comfortable relationship, but often take each other for granted. You forget to make each other a priority. Life transitions like the birth of a baby, the death of an elderly parent, or an empty nest can add to your tension. You don’t always support one another as well as you could, and fears and anxieties get in the way.
So you know it isn’t working. Now what?
Obviously you’re having a hard time working out your problems, and now you’re thinking it may be time to consider couples counseling. Good idea! Research indicates that 60-70% of couples make some improvements in their relationships with even a relatively short time in therapy.
Ideally you have both agreed to go together for the first time. If your partner is reluctant about going, ask if he or she is willing to go just one time to have a safe place to get some things off your chest. Most partners are worried about getting dumped on or of getting locked into going forever. Get a commitment to go once. We can take it from there.
That said, it’s common even in the best of circumstances for one person to be more motivated about therapy and working on the relationship and one person to be more ambivalent about the process. That’s fine; we are experienced at working around these differences.
If need be, go alone. It is exceedingly possible to change relationships with only one person in therapy. Many relationship struggles are about changing dysfunctional patterns that create barriers to problem solving. You may want to go yourself, too, if you need help figuring out what you really want so you can present that to your partner; or if you are uncertain how committed you are to the relationship; or just to clarify what you may want to ultimately get out of therapy.
Here’s how we can help!
We assess your relationship at the very start of therapy. We learn about what’s been working, what hasn’t, and the major areas of concern in your relationship. From here, we build out your unique set of goals. Knowing what you’re wanting out of therapy is essential to our process.
Your family history has a direct impact on how you act in your adult relationships. Some of us are modeling our parents relationship, and others of us are rejecting it. By understanding your family-of-origin, our aim is to build awareness. We believe that with awareness brings choice, and with choice, you have the option to do things differently.
Our therapists believe in providing direct feedback and transparency. We also believe tools and resources are essential to couples therapy. And when given the choice to do things differently, we want our clients to pull from healthy relationship tools, learned in therapy. We teach new ways to communicate and connect so that conversations can move forward rather than getting stuck in emotional mud. We help you break harmful patterns and learn how to not overreact or trigger old wounds.
As the old saying goes, the journey begins by taking the first step.
Begin today and you will thank yourself for a lifetime.
I would recommend her to absolutely anyone looking for therapy, direction in life or needing supervision for a counseling degree or counseling licensure. She is able to work on multiple issues efficiently and in a short amount of time. You will really notice progress and feel like every penny spent was worth it! St. Petersburg is lucky to have her!:)
They are incredibly sweet, easy for my young son to talk to without ever feeling nervous or intimidated and accommodating to our unusual situation. Would recommend them to anyone!
KDM Counseling Group is where you’ll find my therapist, who initially helped me work through my decision to not have children with my husband, and then helped me leave that unhealthy relationship, and now has helped me flourish back into the person I lost so long ago. I’m so thankful for coming across them and making that first call.
KathyDan has created a safe place for me to work through whatever I need. She has a non judgmental and no nonsense approach to situations and offers other resources that have proved to be extremely helpful to me. Her counsel has been a game changer in my life.
KathyDan has been extremely helpful through a difficult time in my life. I would highly recommend her to anyone needing counseling during a divorce, business consulting and/or family counseling.
My husband and I have been seeing KathyDan for several months. She has changed our opinion of therapists! She relates to what we are talking about and gives us advice and strategies that have made such a positive change in our lives. She took a vested interest in us from the start and we knew she was committed to helping our family. Thank you so much!